Today marks nine months from the date that we began the adoption process here in New Jersey. Counting the five months we spent preparing for it in Massachusetts, we've now been on the adoption "road" for over a year. And that was just to get licensed, not including the usual wait-for-a-child time.
After being told over and over that our wait now will probably last another year, I realized this morning that I can't take the nursery being set up any longer. So we dismantled it. Everything went back into boxes or into plastic storage bins and into the basement. The sweet bassinett, the crib, the towels and washcloths, the changing table, the beautiful stroller and carseat set, my Vera Bradley diaper bag and Mike's man-bag, the swing, the baby tub and so much more...all packed away. The nursery now houses the guest bed and a dresser and is ready for our summer company. I would take a picture, but it's just too sad.
While bittersweet (and yes, I shed a few tears while packing things up) we remain hopeful that our time will come when it's right. (And on the bright side, now I won't have to face the empty crib every time I go to my clothes closet.) And so, with hope, we begin this summer of 2008 in which we will celebrate our sixth anniversary, I will start school and life will continue on, all the while keeping the love that we have for our child from becoming stale and forgotten.
With empty, but hopeful arms, we welcome summer.
3 comments:
Bex...this post makes me so sad. I am praying that God will shower blessings on you in all of His surprising ways in the year to come...bringing you more peace, more love, more hope, in the forms He chooses. And that your dreams of mommy-hood will one day come true in a way that is marked by His great grace. I admire your courage. I love you.
Aw, this made me sad to read. I know that nursery was a bittersweet thing for you! What a wonderful day it will be when you get "the call" and you can pull it all out in a mad rush, like Christmas morning.
Becki,
We are sad with you...know that you're in our prayers.
Tracy
Post a Comment