10 Things I Learned at Work This Week

Possibly my new "trademark" post subject? We'll see how this one fares.

1. Though it sounds sensational, people actually do sit on the toilet, eat, and flush said toilet while they are being interviewed for a job. This happened to my recruiter, Allyson, this morning as she was trying to phone screen a candidate. So of course we said a huge "Oh, no he didn't"!

2. Nilla wafers will now make me think of said eating-crapping-interviewing man. Sorry, Dad.

3. When the building is evacuated due to strong gas odors, don't worry that you've never been told what the evacuation plan is. Just find your cool friends from across the hall and tag along with their group. That way, when the lady with the orange hat comes around to take down everyone's names and ensure everyone is accounted for, you can really mess with her head. "Who me? Sure, I'm in the right spot. Are you in the right spot? Are you suuure?"

4. Having lunch with a good friend is wonderful. Being late to a meeting with the big boss because you lost track of time and were caught up in a meaningful conversation...priceless.

5. Scenario: You've been the trainer/mentor/friend to a very young fellow contracted employee in your department. Oftentimes the things she says and her naiveity make you sigh (albeit sometimes in frustration at her lack of business and common knowledge) and remember being 24. She decides to apply for a permanent position within the company that you're pretty sure she's not going to be qualified for, and has been told that, but she asks your opinion of what she should do anyway. Do you A. Say "Go for it girl!" while cringing slightly inside? B. Say "Have you looked at other open positions? Maybe you should explore all your options before putting your eggs in one basket" or C. Nod and smile.

6. Don't wear heels that are worn out. They'll make you walk all wobbly-like.

7. HR people are crazy. Just plain old genuinely crazy. I fit right in!

8. It's important not to allow your boss to pull you into her fun power games. Be careful not to sit at the "head" of the conference table ever again, even when there's only 5 in a meeting, you're the last one in, and no one likes to have an odd man out around the table. Just don't do it any longer. Sit on the side like a normal person, and if no one sits across from you and things feel unbalanced, well Ms. Neat-Freak, just deal with it.

9. When you work at a soup company, nay, one of the biggest soup companies in the WORLD, don't pay $3.50 for a tiny cup of soup in the cafeteria at lunchtime. Who are they kidding? No wonder profits are up!

10. And last but not least: In what would seem to be an off-chance but happens quite frequently...when you are walking down the hallway with the CEO, for real, think of clever things to say. Remembering your name is a start.