Changes.

Forget the catching you all up part...it's much too daunting a task and has kept me from writing at all since my last post. Sorry for that, let's move on.

Friday we welcomed Na'Im's four year old brother, Dominic, into our house for two weeks! He's staying with us "on my vacation" (as he says) while his foster mom goes on her real vacation to "Iss-miss-ippi". It's an amazing opportunity to experience parenting this child to whom we've committed to make part of our forever family-if the courts allow. Na'Im is loving having his brother around and Michael and I are loving it just as much, though it creates a huge change in schedule and energy for us both!

Last night I found myself in a surreal moment, one I've dreamed of for years. It was 5:30, dinner was in the oven, and I was sitting on our (brand-new!) couch with two little boys snuggled in as close to me as they could get, watching an episode of "Word World" together. One on my lap with his head on my chest, one sitting on my left with his head on my shoulder and hand in mine...close enough for me to breathe in their hair smell and kiss their little heads...it was pure, simple love at it's best. If this is foster parenting, I'm all in, for life. If I can be given simple moments like those to treasure in my heart forever, I am a remarkably blessed woman. If I am given the opportunity to create an atmosphere where children who have lived through some of the worst abuse and poor living conditions imaginable can feel completely safe and relaxed, I believe I have served the great Master well. What we do to these little children, we do to Him, and my hope is that I reflect the massive love, gentleness and safe haven that He is.

This month I am experiencing life at a level I've never experienced before. Though my physical self is tired, achy and in need of copious amounts of caffeine constantly, I feel my inner-self is renewing, awakening. As the season itself shuts down and prepares for a winter's sleep, I find myself becoming more alive and digging back through the muck to find the roots of faith that I once held dear. My life experiences and those of my family have changed my perspective and beliefs about much of what I was taught growing up. I feel a need right now to figure out exactly where that all stands. Perhaps it's a need to have something sensible and meaningful to pass along to my children. Maybe it's the ticking clock, I realized when I scheduled my next haircut this week that my first 30-something birthday is 8 weeks away.

Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for this season right now and for all the changes it's bringing. Life is good. Real good, down deep to it's core.