confessions...and ramblings

Okay, so now I'm starting to hear that people are actually reading this blog, which makes me feel like I should actually write more often. I check it all the time to see if anyone has left a comment, and today, ya-hoo!, I had two messages! Shout out to my sister Missy and old (not in age, of course) friend Kelly Sue!

So here's my confession: I am bored. I am literally sitting in Camden with nothing to do. And I am bored. There is nothing worse than feeling bored and being in a new place where all of your friends work the same schedules, and feeling the pressure of each hour ticking by as one more hour wasted without working and not making any money and therefore not being able to do the most important thing in life...shop at IKEA. Seriously, people, Mike and I went across the river into South Philly to walk around IKEA last night and we didn't buy anything and it was very nearly tortorous. At any rate, I am getting restless sitting here. I'm trying to do my best to find things to do and volunteer at UP where I can, but there's just not that much room for me here.
Plus, I'm super homesick. I got so used to seeing my sister and Jason and the boys several times a week I feel like I'm going through muffin withdrawal (that's what we call the nephews, "muffins").

I keep getting leads on jobs that turn into nothing, so I am afraid I'm going to be forced to work at the mall or some other crap job until something more permanent opens up. Please pray with me for God's provision for a great job! I'm believing that we were brought to Camden for a purpose, and that purpose involves BOTH of us, not just Mike.

On a lighter note, we are going to visit a church this Sunday that we attended with our friends Kevin and Jackie a year or so ago when we were down visiting with them. I'm excited to attend church again...I never thought I'd say that but I am! After running Kids' Church for nearly three years (and therefore not attending church for nearly three years as we were with the kids all the time), I'm greatly looking forward to joining a body of beleivers in worship and learning. Sunday nights all of the directors and interns at UP are required to attend a worship service all summer long, and Mike and I have both volunteered to lead cell groups. I'm excited about that as I think it'll be a great time to get to know some of the interns more closely and to be able to learn from them and share with them.

Last week one of the new directors, Jacob, shared a verse that immediately changed my perspective down here. Since we've moved, I'd been feeling very afraid of the city, we're living on the town line and in an area where crime is lower, but it's still Camden. I'd been feeling my independence slipping away in very tangible ways. For example, I as a white woman can't pull my car over to side of the road to ask someone for directions when I'm lost or to look at a map; I can't walk across the street to 7-11 alone; I am nervous to use a walk-up ATM and thus spend time driving around looking for drive-ups; I'm more aware of bringing in groceries from the car and have to bring them all onto the porch, lock the car up, then bring them all into the foyer, then lock the house up, then carry them upstairs to the kitchen; we were told in the first week that when we're walking around, we need to walk like we have a purpose...so my city swagger has come back. Little things like these that just make me feel the lifestyle change that we've made. But more than that, I was just really jumpy at every little noise in the house and letting my imagination get the better of me at night. Then Jacob shared the verse in 1 Timothy (?) that says God didnt' give us a spirit of fear, but of a sound mind...etc....I can't concentrate in here and remember it exactly and thus feel a fool...but when I heard that I remembered how my Mom shared that verse with me as a teenager and again when she and Dad left me the first time in Camden, and I just claimed it again. (Even though I can't remember it exactly!) It really put me at peace.

So with all of that rambling said...I remind myself to take heart...God is doing great things through Mike's ministry here already and he is happier and more content than I've ever seen him. We are really loving living here and have quickly bonded with the other directors, so that has made it so much easier. We have plans tomorrow night and Monday night to take two of them out for their birthdays and we've had a few late night hang-outs with them, and we're just loving having friends our age close-by. They all, Brent, Ros and Josh, are a huge encouragement to us!