Traditions, Thanks and Tears

This year I've been reflecting on the traditions my family set and thinking about which ones will be most important in our family's life.  I'm giving thanks for so much and realizing again how much has been given to me and how little I deserve it.  I'm shedding tears of joy, anticipation and thanks for so much and wanted to share a few with you.

I'm thankful for the grace that has been extended to me this past year by my husband.  I'm blown away by his deep, tender and unending love for me.  I'm continually amazed by his heart for me, for Na'Im and for others.

I'm thankful for my sisters who are my life-strings, who pull me up again and again and never fail to love me.  I'm thankful for their sisterhood which is a friendship that goes beyond explanation. 

I'm thankful for the love of a little boy who calls me Mommy.  I'm thankful to be the one who gets to give him the last kiss of the night and the first kiss in the morning.  I'm brought to tears of gratitude every time he runs to me yelling "HUGS!" and wraps his little arms around my shoulders and squeezes as hard as he can.  I'm thankful for what he's teaching me about life and love, that it's unconditional, that it's hard work, but that it's all worth it at the end of the day. 

I'm thankful for a 9 year old boy who desires to be a part of our forever family and who has a genuine affection for his little brother.  I'm thankful for the friendship the three brothers share and for a system that has done one right thing for them in allowing them time to spend together each week.

I'm thankful for a knock on our door 11 months ago which gave us the opportunity to be parents.  Parenthood is the ultimate responsibility and privilege in life and I'm terrified by it and deeply grateful for it every day.  Perhaps because it could be taken from us any day, I am even more sensitive to the great honor that it holds.

I'm thankful for the things that seem so simple:  the moon shining faithfully in the sky each night and a little boy who gets so excited every time he sees it ("Moooooooooonnn!!!), my spirit that is returned to me each morning as I awake, the warm house and provision of food through a tough few months of unemployment, two cars that continue to work faithfully and keep us from having to make car payments, the progress Na'Im is making in his speech and occupational abilities, the friendship that continues to deepen between Michael and I, the wonderful interns and staff who give us their evenings so we can spend date nights together, the support and love of friends at UrbanPromise and so much more.

I'm thankful for the lady and gentleman who gave birth to my son (and possible sons).  I'm thankful for the ways we learn about them through their kids (does Na'Im have his mom's toes?  does George laugh like his dad?) and for the opportunity they gave us to raise these amazing children. 

I'm thankful that our former foster kids (we're now supposed to refer to them as our godkids so as to not embarrass the 11 year old!) who are doing well in their home environment.  I'm grateful that Dad and Grandma encourage us to maintain a relationship with Johna and Nando and that they welcome us into their home unanncounced at any time.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to have parented those two amazingly beautiful souls.

I'm thankful for my neice and nephew who joined our family this summer and who bring so much joy to my heart.  I'm thankful for PK's health, for his daddy who cares for him so well at home and for a mommy who works so hard to provide a great life for them.  I'm thankful for Moriah's fighting spirit, for her continued health and for her birth into a dad, mom and brothers who love her just as she needs to be loved. 

I'm thankful for my extended family, though we're scattered and don't always keep in touch as we could, I remember the traditions we shared together over the holidays as kids and am thankful for that.  I'm grateful for my cousins' growing families, my aunts' and uncles' health and happiness and my grandparents' continued service to others.  I'm thankful for my parents who gave their all in parenting.

I'm thankful for so much this year and have been overwhelmed with emotion many times this holiday season.  Michael and I keep looking at each other in just absolute wonder and awe at what a difference a year can make.  We are humbled by so much, and thankful for so much, and mostly feeling so happy with how our lives are turning out.  I read a high school friend's Facebook status recently which said basically "I'm realizing that I'm shaping my life into exactly what I always wanted it to be" and I'm realizing that for myself.  My life is coming together to form a pattern that is a combination of exactly what I always dreamed of plus some parts that Someone who knows better than me has thrown in for good measure. 

I'm a blessed woman and this holiday season am acutely aware of it.  Thanks be to God.